Bachelorette.com New Releases Inflatable Boobie Slippers

New, from the people who brought you boobie inflatables and boobie slippers, it’s… inflatable boobie slippers? What, did somebody think that just mashing two successful ideas together would make an even more successful idea? Well, who am I to argue with that logic? Let’s try doing the same thing: we’ll mash the item descriptions for the boobie inflatable and the boobie slippers together to come up with a description for these:

Ah, the summertime of youth, when my male coworker has the week off. I miss soft-serve ice cream for 99 cents a cone, trying to delve into the male psyche. I miss running around the pool in bare feet, ignoring all my parents warnings and trying to sell a bunch of men on the idea of Boob Slippers?

Hmmm. I don’t think this is going to work. To say nothing of the incomprehensible nonsense in the first two sentences, I don’t think running around in bare feet is the best way to sell somebody on the idea of slippers. You should probably just wear the slippers, don’t you think? And, well, I don’t think combining the descriptions of those other two items is going to sell these either. But frankly, I don’t know if these puppies even need my help to sell themselves. I mean, just look at them. You can walk around the house with big bouncy boobies on your feet, kicking your friends without a care in the world because they’re soft and inflatable. If you can’t already picture how hilarious these are going to be at your bachelor party, then I don’t know what I could possibly write that would convince you. They’re easy-to-inflate, one-size-fits-most, Inflatable Boobie Slippers. That’s just about all you need to know.